I’m at my local library now. The same library I’ve been going to my whole life. It’s where my reading and writing path started. Ironically, I’m listening to Journey To The Line by Hans Zimmer. This is not a letter of endings. This is a letter of celebration with thoughts mixed in.
Today makes it four years that I started my website. A fourth year to do new projects, review new books, interview new people, write new reflection pieces, film new VLOGs…
Many people see Friday the 13th as bad luck. I don’t believe in that. How can I when it’s my blog anniversary? This blog has brought me so many joys.
Still, the last few months have been difficult for me. My last post touched on that. And my post Experiencing A Lack Of Motivation was me being transparent and vulnerable on paper. Many people think I’m a machine. They’ve referred to me as such when asking “How do you it? I can’t keep up with your posts. You’re a machine!”
I’m not a machine.
I’m not superhuman.
I’m someone who has a lot of drive and was filling a void.
Things have slowed down a bit.
This website was started because I was rejected by an MFA in Creative Writing program. It was my self made program: read, write, review, re-read, re-write, journal, build a following, make connections, learn and work on my craft.
Things have changed since then.
“Change is the only constant” is an Indigenous teaching I hold on to, sometimes barely.
This year (starting January 2013) I started writing more reflection pieces as that’s what many readers wanted. The schedule I stuck to prior (review, interview, video) took a backseat. But readers have now asked “When are you going to review and interview people again?” Others ask “When is a special week is coming?” Special as in weeks like Honouring Missing And Murdered Aboriginal Women.
It’s year four and I’m still figuring things out. Again, I’ve committed to one more year. I don’t want to let blackcoffeepoet.com go but it’s not easy. Contrary to what many think, I am not rolling in the dough from this website. I will be putting up a DONATE button this year. And I would really like more people to start writing Letters and Opinion Editorials to help give me a rest and some time to work on my own projects: poetry collection, memoir, and short films.
This website started for me to continue to write and to learn more about writing. I tell people “It’s about me and not about me.” It’s called blackcoffeepoet.com and it’s run by me but it’s also about community. You barely saw anything about me the first two and a half years. Readers would ask “Where are you? Where is your writing?” This year I aim to be more balanced.
I really did not know what to do today, what to write, if to write, or what I was going to do, if anything, for the next year. But, while attending the SPICE community lunch at the Centre For Women and Trans Peoples yesterday an openly self identified queer Latina woman said, “Hey, you’re that blog dude!” She and an openly self identified Trans man of colour proceeded to tell me about their appreciation for my website.
It was a reminder that I’m reaching the communities I intend to reach: Aboriginal, Of Colour, LGBTQ, Disabled, Sexworker, and Incarcerated.
I’m now listening to Surface Of The Sun by John Murphy. There’s 40% power left on my laptop. I have to meet my aunt for lunch in 25 minutes. And I feel good.
I’m that blog dude. And I’m doing this thing for one more year.
Thanks for reading.
Peace, Prayers, Poetry,
Jorge Antonio Vallejos
Black Coffee Poet