Dear Readers,

Do you have something to say about activism, academia, blackcoffeepoet.com, current events, literature, life, or politics?  Is there something on your mind that mainstream media is not covering?  Have you written something that has not found a home?

Write a Letter to Black Coffee Poet or an Opinion Editorial!

I welcome writing on:

Aboriginal Peoples and Politics

Book Culture

Decolonization

Disability Politics

Education

Feminism(s): Indigenous, Of Colour, Trans, 3rd Wave…

International and Local Politics

LGBTQ Life

Literature

Race

Sex Work

Spirituality

Trans Peoples and Rights

and so much more…

There is no need to pitch a Letter or Op-Ed as they are not articles.  Keep in mind: 1. not all Letters and Op-Eds submitted will be published; 2. Letters and Op-Eds are their own genres of writing to be written with care, respect, and thoughtfulness like any other genre.

If you are new to blackcoffeepoet.com take some time to read the publication and find out what it’s about before submitting.  Here at three resources for that: ABOUT and Black Coffee Poet and Popular Posts.

See some recently published letters to BCP:

Let Us Be Human: A Trans Woman Calls On Her Sisters To Act In Support of Missing and Murdered Aboriginal Women by Cindy Bourgeois

Embracing Diversity by Rusty Kjarvik

See some recently published Opinion Editorials:

The Romney Doctrine by Dr. Gene Grabiner

Anti Violence Against Indigenous Women and Resurgence by Christine Luza

Submit to blackcoffeepoet@gmail.com with Letter to BCP or Opinion Editorial in the subject line.

Submissions must include full name, phone number, and address of sender.  Home addresses and phone numbers will not be published.  I reserve the right to edit letters and opinion editorials.  Letters run from 150 to 30o words.  Opinion Editorials run from 700 to 800 words.  Due to the volume of submissions I can not acknowledge or publish every submission.

Thank you for your consideration, time, and support.

Peace, Positivity, Prayers,

Jorge Antonio Vallejos

Black Coffee Poet

I also broke down a popular tip sheet tip by tip.  Some tips I agreed with and most I did not.

This VLOG (video blog) is a follow up to my last post.

I welcome thoughts, comments, letters, ideas, challenge: you can email me blackcoffeepoet@gmail.com

Watch, think, comment SHARE, and Tweet!

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Poems, songs, interviews, workshops, readings and roundtables.

Problems With Sexual Assault Prevention Tips

By Jorge Antonio Vallejos

I’ve been seeing a lot of these types of lists (seen on the left and below my 7 point critique) floating around Face Book.  Some have good info but many don’t take in to account a lot of things:

1. Many tip lists are based on blaming the person who was assaulted.  It’s usually called “victim blaming”; something I don’t like because the person might identify as a survivor.  And the responsibility for an assault not to occur is left on the person assaulted.

2. Most tip lists don’t take into account that most sexual assaults happen by people known to the person assaulted: relative, friend, boss, teacher etc.  Most tip lists refer to strangers assaulting people, most often women.

3. Most tip lists are geared toward straight (heterosexual) communities.  The tips often mention men assaulting women.  They don’t take into account that sexual assault happens in straight and LGBTQ communities and that peoples of all genders and races assault and are assaulted.

4. Sexworkers are never taken into account in these mainstream tip lists.  Tips are geared toward peoples deemed contributors to society which sexworkers are not.  And sexworkers are seen as there for the taking.  Sexually assaulting a sexworker is seen as an oxymoron in this twisted society.

5. Sexual assault tip lists exclude those who are incarcerated.  Seventy-thousand sexual assaults happen every year in American prisons, 60% of which happens via guards assaulting inmates.  These tips are geared toward those who are not incarcerated.

6. Such tip lists hint around consent as opposed to naming it, and if they do they lack a break down of what consent is.  And sometimes they use the word “No” instead of “YES!”.

7. Tip sheets never name Rape Culture, or acknowledge that we live in one, or the need for educating people about Rape Culture.

Lets look at this list which is aimed at the attacker with a tongue and cheek tone that has some problems.

I don’t have all the answers and I might have missed, or not thought of, many things.  If you have any thoughts please comment below the post or email me.

1. Don’t put drugs in peoples drinks in order to control their behaviour.

This can happen at a club, a bad date, or by a long time friend or relative.  So, I think #1 is OK.

2. When you see someone walking by themselves leave them alone!

Years ago when talking with some members of Toronto Native Youth, a group of politically active Native youth in Toronto, I learned about a very important book, The Will To Change by Black feminist theorist bell hooks, and some male ally tips, one tip being similar to #2.

We talked about us being men of colour and how when we walk at night we cross the road if a woman is walking on the sidewalk alone.  It was not prevention but allyship.  We cross the road so as to not have the woman feel unsafe.  Same goes if we are on the subway; we move to another car or to the end of the car if we are alone with a woman on the subway at night.

The problem with tip #2 is that it again points to the scenario of a stranger assaulting someone on the street and ignores the fact that most assaults happen at home, at work, at school etc. by someone the person being attacked knows.

3. If you pull over to help someone with car problems, remember not to assault them.

This tip again points to the stranger scenario.  If sexual assault happens in, or near, a car it is most likely to be on a date whether business or personal, or on a family trip with a relative, or ride given by a neighbour, or a school bus driver…

The side of the road attack is real but it happens more on TV shows like Criminal Minds and in movies.

4. If you are in the elevator and someone else gets in, don’t assault them!

This has a little bit of the stranger element to it but it’s also a real thing.  Many people are assaulted in their home residence (building) elevators by neighbours and building employees.

5. Never open an unlocked door or window uninvited.

This is victim and survivor blaming.  It puts to onus on the victim and survivor leaving an entry for their attacker even though it is aimed at the attacker.

6. Use the buddy system!  If you are not able to stop yourself from assaulting people, ask a friend to stay with you while you are in public.

This is total bullshit that is based on a buddy system where people are supposed to always be on guard as opposed to society educating peoples about, and challenging, rape culture.

7. Always be honest with people! Don’t pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain trust of someone you want to assault.  Consider telling them you plan to assault them.  If you don’t communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you do not plan to rape them.

I’m not a fan of the humour being used here but it’s bang on.  This is one of the most realistic scenarios: a “friend” raping someone.

8. Dont forget: you can’t have sex with someone unless they’re awake!

What this is not saying is that many longterm partners rape their significant other while they are sleeping.  NO consent is rape whether you are married or in a long term relationship.

9. Carry a whistle.  If you are worried you might assault someone accidentally you can hand it to the person you’re with so they can blow it if you do.

The carry a whistle advice is again based on leaving the responsibility on the person being attacked as opposed to teaching people about, and challenging, rape culture.

10. DON’T ASSAULT PEOPLE!

Truth!

Below is a video of an essay about rape culture that I recently presented at a conference:

Tim Bosma, Rehataeh Parsons, and Jane Creba

By Jorge Antonio Vallejos

“They’re looking for that white guy who’s disappeared but the 800 Missing and Murdered Aboriginal women in Canada don’t matter,” said my friend  Stefoknee while we were hanging out this weekend.

It was an important and honest comment.

It’s true that Tim Bosma, a white man from Ontario, Canada, is all over the news. Rightfully so.  He’s missing.  Everyone who has been murdered or goes missing should be given media attention.

But it doesn’t work out that way.

North American media has a history of highlighting missing and murdered white people, women in particular.  In terms of women going missing some call it Missing White Woman Syndrome.  The recent case of three women–Gina DeJesus, Amanda Berry, Michelle Knight–held captive in a basement in Cleveland, Ohio is a perfect example.

The Cleveland Plain Dealer wrote 36 articles about Amanda Berry, a white woman, and 19 about Gina DeJesus, a Latina woman of colour, during the 10 years that they were missing.

That’s almost double the coverage given to a white woman.

Not surprising.

We don’t have to look far to see the same thing happening on the stolen land now known as Canada.  Recently, the media was saturated with news about the suicide of Rehtaeh Parsons, a young white woman who was gang raped and decided to end her life after much humiliation by her rapists and her community.

We live in a culture of rape.

Parsons became a national tragedy.  What happened to her was sad, wrong, and horrible. Her rapists should be punished.  Her case should be shared and learned from.  And rape culture has to be acknowledged, exposed, talked about, and challenged.

But no one was questioning why the Parsons case was given so much attention. Hundreds, if not thousands, of women are gang raped every year in Canada.  Why did Parsons case become a national story?

Parsons was white, young, pretty, and middle class.

Parsons became Canada’s new national tragedy.

Parsons became the new Jane Creba.

December 26, 2005 saw Jane Creba, a young white woman, lose her life to a stray bullet on Yonge Street in the middle of the day during Canada’s busiest business day: Boxing Day.  It became known as the Boxing Day Shooting and Creba became Canada’s national tragedy.

The then Mayor of Toronto, David Miller, marched up and down Yonge Street demanding an end to violence.  He never marched around Cherry Beach where many sexworkers have been killed and dumped.  He never walked with activists protesting the murders and disappearances of what is now 800+ Aboriginal women.  He never spoke to the media about the countless women of colour who have been killed in the city he ran for years.

Why?

Canada cares about young, white, pretty, middle and upper class women.

White men run everything so of course Tim Bosma is a priority in the media at the moment.

Apart from the 800+ Missing and Murdered Aboriginal women, proof enough that the media cares about white folk more than anyone, I’ll give a few examples of women drowned out by the white woman syndrome practiced by media.

Chantel Dunne

A year after Jane Creba was killed by a stray bullet 19 year old Black woman Chantel Dunn was also killed by a stray bullet in Toronto (2006).  Dunn was a second year student at York University and was shot while sitting in a car.  Her killer has not been found.

Have you heard of Chantel Dunne?  Did Dunne get the same media attention as Jane Creba?  Did she become Canada’s national tragedy?

Stephine Beck

Whiteness is not only about skin it’s about class and privilege.  Not all white folk are middle or upper class, and not all white folk have the same privileges (other than skin privilege, of course) as middle and upper class white folk.  Stephine Beck was a white sex worker who was murdered by Wayne Ryczak in 2007.

Ryczak was given 1 day in jail for killing Beck.

One day!

Why? Wayne Ryczak is straight, white, makes $75 000 a year, and belongs to a Christian church.  He matters.  Sexworkers don’t matter in this society.  Stephine Beck, a sexworker, did not matter.

Have you heard of Stephine Beck?  Did Beck get large amounts of media attention?  Did Beck become Canada’s national tragedy?

Bridget Takyi

Bridget Takyi was a 27 year old mother of two boys brutally killed by her ex partner in Toronto, January 2013.  She was on her way to work when Emmanuel Owusu-Ansah stabbed her several times and burned her body leaving it unrecognizable.

Have you heard of Bridget Takyi?  Did Takyi get large amounts of media attention?  Did Takyi become Canada’s national tragedy?

There is a whiteness of remembrance in media and society that has to be challenged.

Aboriginal women and women of colour are affected by violence at higher levels than white women.  Aboriginal women and women of colour matter.  Aboriginal women and women of colour deserve the same media attention as white women.  Aboriginal women and women of colour are people too.

Below is a poem, Shane It Isn’t Fair, I wrote in 2008 about this topic.  It was published in the 2009 YU Free Press Feminist Issue:

Did you know that 800 Aboriginal women have been murdered or gone missing in Canada?

Below is a poem on video for all Indigenous women by Dana Wesley of Moose Cree First Nation.

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Poems, songs, interviews, workshops, readings, and roundtables. 

Activists say Sexual Violence K[NO]W More!  See my previous post for some resources.

Here is a chart about consent put out by queeringsexed.com:

Educate!

Share!

Act!

Wikipedia says that April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month in the United States.

I say every month should be Sexual Assault Awareness Month!

Sexual Violence happens everyday to peoples of all ages, abilities, classes, races and genders with some people being more vulnerable to sexual violence than others.  What are you doing about it?

I say educate, share, act!

Educate yourself.  Share your info.  Act in different ways to stop sexual violence.

My writing is my activism.  Here are my latest actions toward stopping sexual violence:

This is an essay I recently presented about poetry combating rape culture:

This is a poem I was recently commissioned to write about the Charter of Rights and Freedoms:

Educate!

Share!

Act!

Poverty to Power Reading

By Jorge Antonio Vallejos

Photo by Gerardo Correa

This past Monday I presented 3 poems about racism in the workplace, violence against Aboriginal women, and the prison industrial complex at the Colour of Poverty 2013 conference: Poverty to Power.

I had the pleasure of sharing the stage with Indigenous Elder Ed Sackaney, Poet Laureate of Toronto George Elliott Clarke, and poet Amani.  BIG Thanks to Colour of Poverty for inviting me to read at their important event!

In the two post previous to this one I shared my Preparing For A Poetry Reading and A Poet’s Pointers For A Public Reading, both of which I used for the reading at Poverty to Power that you will see in the video below.

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By Jorge Antonio Vallejos

In my last post, Preparing For A Poetry Reading, I wrote about my process of preparing for a public reading.  That day I was reading at a conference called From Poverty to Power put on my the Colour of Poverty Campaign.

My reading went well.  (The video goes up on Friday, the post after this!)

I used the techniques I wrote about on Monday after writing them down for you.

Now to what happens(ed) before and during the actual reading.  Here are my humble tips:

Introduce Yourself 

Most times the group or organization you are reading for will have asked you for a bio in advance and will have read it to the audience before you get on stage.  Sometimes things get messed up and they will have lost your bio or have forgotten to print it up for the event.  In any case, introduce yourself.  If your bio has already been read make it short.  If not, give your whole bio.  Regardless, it’s nice for the crowd to hear who you are from you, the person they are there to see.

Thank the Organizers and the Audience

It’s an honour to be asked to read somewhere.  Not all poets get such an opportunity.  Let the organization know that you are thankful.  And show the crowd appreciation for being present and for giving you their time.

Thank Your Co Presenters

At the Colour of Poverty conference I shared the stage with Indigenous Elder Ed Sackaney, Poet Laureate of Toronto George Elliott Clarke, and poet Amani.  I thanked Elder Sackaney for his opening of the event and George Elliott Clarke (a poet of colour) for breaking down doors for a young poet of colour like me in this white dominated writing world.  I also thanked George Elliott Clarke because his performance was amazing and a hard act to follow; I wanted to acknowledge why he is Toronto’s Poet Laureate.

If Necessary, Give A Trigger Warning

If you write the types of poems that I write you need to give a trigger warning.  A lot of my poems deal with colonialism and its current effects: racism, violence, incarceration…

Words are powerful, they can build people up and tear people down.  The last thing I want to do at a reading is trigger someone who is a survivor of the many different forms of violence and abuses in our society.

Before I read I let the audience know what I will be reading, why, and who it is about.  Sometimes I start out with, “I have to give you a trigger warning…”  That’s how I started out my reading in March 2013, Spreading The Roots and Reach of the Living Tree., at the SPINLAW Conference at Osgoode Law School.

After reading my poem White Van at an event 4 years ago two different women thanked me for giving a trigger warning.  I thanked them for their words and for listening.

Acknowledge Your Privilege and Position

Using again the example of the poem  White Van, a poem about violence against female sex workers, I let the audience know that I was writing about a difficult topic that was not my lived experience.  Not being a woman, a sex worker, or a survivor of sexual violence, I wanted to acknowledge this out of respect for sex workers and survivors of sexual violence.  It’s about respect.  Respecting peoples and their lived experiences.

Project Your Voice

Not all venues have a great sound system.  Sometimes you don’t have a mic.  And you are on stage to be heard.  So, project your voice.  Put some stomach into your reading.  Use your diaphragm to get your voice out.  Read about using your diaphragm, google it, youtube it!  Take some classes if possible.  Do it!

Make Eye Contact     

Have you ever been to a lecture, talk, or reading where the presenter is reading off the page for the whole time?  You get bored and zone out!  University professors who do this get the worst ratings!  You have to connect with your audience.  The best way to do this is to make eye contact.

The traditional thought on public speaking is to focus on one point at the back of the room or one person in the crowd.

Fuck that!

Periodically move your heard around and look at different people.  Look into someones eyes as you speak.  Show the crowd that you are there for them.  Connect.  Eye to eye. Person to person.

Watch my latest reading where I say the same line, We live in a culture of rape, throughout the reading.  Every time I say the line I look at someone.  After the reading a 60 year old professor came up to me to thank me for the work I do and said, “I’ve been to many conferences over the years and this is the first time I have cried.”  My reading brought out emotion but it was not only my words it was my connection with the crowd that brought that out.

I hope my humble tips are of use to you!

Try them, keep what you like and throw out what you don’t like.

If you have your own system of techniques please share them.

Peace, prayers, poetry!

By Jorge Antonio Vallejos

I’m reading tonight at a conference put on by a local organization called Colour of Poverty.  The conference, From Poverty To Power, has been on for the last three days.  The organizers wanted to include arts that reflected the topic so two fellow poets and I will be on stage tonight.

Who better than poets to know about poverty!

This is my third reading this year.  I read my fist commissioned poem, Spreading The Roots and Reach of the Living Tree, at a law conference in March; I read an essay, On Reading Chrystos: Her Words Are Not Vanishing, about challenging rape culture via poetry at a literature conference in early April; and tonight I’m reading poems about poverty.

I have a pre-reading ritual before every reading that might help some of you writers who read in public.  We all do things differently.  This is my humble advice.

Choose Poems That Fit The Event

Although a lot of my work is about fighting oppression I’m a fight fan who writes about boxing and MMA once in a while.  I wouldn’t show up to a rally about stopping violence against women and spew off poems about my favorite pugilists.  Know what I mean?

Choose Poems That Fit The Time Limit You Have Been Given

Time is precious.  It’s the one thing we can’t buy.  When it’s gone it’s gone!  When asked to do a reading you are usually given a time limit.  Respect it!  Respecting a time limit is respecting the organizers who asked you to read, the audience who is giving you their attention, and your fellow presenters.  Make sure the poems you choose fit the allotted time you have been given.  It might be a good idea to choose poems that have you finish early.

Send Poems On Video To The Organizers

When I was commissioned to write a poem early this year I sent the organizers three videos of my previous readings. I did this so that they could get an idea of my writing and reading style, and for them to direct me toward what type of poem they wanted me to write for them.  This is only possible if you have videos of you reading.  I totally recommend you tape yourself reading at events for memories and so that people can see what you are about.

Use The Mirror Technique

The mirror technique takes many forms.   People use it for various reasons: affirmations, self love, meditation, spirituality…

I know a survivor of the Residential School System, a Canadian-colonial government and church plan to “kill the Indian and save the child”, who uses the mirror technique every morning.  He stands in front of his mirror and says loving and affirming things to himself to combat the lies forced on him while imprisoned in residential school as a 4 year old after being stolen from his family.

The way I use the mirror technique for readings is to read in front of the mirror.  I check my posture, grip, stance, and appearance.  I also walk around my room while reciting my poem or essay.  But usually, unless I’m giving talk or running a workshop, I stand in one place which is why the mirror technique is a good one.  It helps you get used to yourself and it gives you confidence.

Read Poems Out Loud Over And Over To Yourself And To A Friend

Before I leave my apartment tonight I will have read and re-read my poems out loud several times.  It helps to identify spots in your work that need certain intonations, breaks, silence, and points of eye contact with your audience.  You want your reading to go smooth.  A smooth reading is easy on the ear and it makes you look good.

Before I read my essay at the ACLA conference two weeks ago I read it aloud to two friends.  They timed me and took notes on the reading for feedback.  Their help was crucial.  They identified spots that needed re-working and emphasis.  Reading to them helped my reading the next day go smooth.

I hope this helps!

Try them out and let me know what happens.

If you have your own techniques share them!

Peace, prayers, poetry.